Service Snitch: Cosmetic Surgeons: Enhancing Your Costs

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Cosmetic Surgeons: Enhancing Your Costs

In the beginning, Adam and Eve cheerfully romped through the Garden of Eden as bare and unabashed as all the other beasts. Man and woman were content with and even grateful for whatever flesh God had given them, and the Lord saw this, and it was good. One fateful day, however, the vile Serpent who lived in the Garden—later confirmed to be Joan Rivers—tempted Adam and Eve to eat from the forbidden Tree of Vanity. They did so, and afterwards, they looked upon themselves and saw they were ugly, and they were ashamed.

In the millennia hence, man has toiled night and day to please his new god, Superficiality: the hairbrush, the make-up compact, the diet soft drink, and the Wonder bra have all been forged in His name. He was not appeased, however, and the 20th century saw the unveiling of cosmetic surgery. Cosmetic surgeons have staked their careers on exploiting the prevailing "beautocratic" standards of our society. So what are you supposed to look for, and how can you make sure you don't get ripped off by a plastic surgeon?

What It Costs

Because cosmetic surgery procedures are by and large, well, cosmetic, your health insurance is not going to cover them. You will have to pay for both the operation and any incidental costs it may incur yourself. Depending on just what it is you want to slice, tuck, or enlarge, the price tag will vary wildly. A shot of Botox will run you $200 - $400; collagen treatment costs $500 - $1500. More complex procedures are priced accordingly: lip augmentation goes for $600 - $2000; dermabrasian costs $2000 - $4000; chin or cheek implants are $3000 - $4500; and eyelid tucks cost $4000 - $5000. For those uninterested in such subtlety, a nose job costs $5000 - $6000; breast enhancement costs $5000 - $8000; a tummy tuck costs $6000 - $8000; and the ever-popular face lift—more popular still with the surgeons themselves—will run you $7000 - $9000. The charge for a liposuction, depending on just how many body parts you want treated, can range anywhere from $2500 to $10,000. If you're overweight to begin with, a glimpse of that price tag is not going to do any favors for your heart. These are just a sampling of some of the most popular cosmetic procedures; nowadays, you can schedule a consultation, tell them what you want done, and they'll probably be able to fit you in two weeks from Wednesday.

These fee ranges, however, only cover the basic procedure. Much like those asterisk-prone telephone companies, cosmetic surgeons bring home the foie gras on hidden fees. You will surely have to pay for the surgical facility and anaesthesia, and those can add up to $2000. You may also have to cover the cost of implants and medication. Don't overlook subsequent "maintenance" operations, either. While the doctor may say any future touch-ups you'll require are included in his initial charge, the facility, anesthesia, and other collateral charges will cost you ever more.

The Cosmetic Surgeon Says

"I am an experienced, licensed professional who provides an invaluable service: I can give my valued customers the face or the body they've always dreamed of. I invite my potential clients into my office for a consultation and discuss all of the alternatives available to them. For every procedure the client is curious about, I display exhaustive sets of 'before and after' pictures. The charges for every enhancement I have to offer are disclosed immediately. Because I perform my work right here in my office, patients are scheduled, prepped, and operated on without any of the hassle or worry an outside facility would entail. After all, where better for a physician to operate than his own office?"

The Snitch Says

"Cosmetic surgeons know that anyone who visits their office for a consultation is both insecure about their appearance and disposed to splurge on it. Anyone who walks in to ask about a simple shot of Botox is surely amenable to a chemical peel or a face lift, especially after a few suave suggestions from Dr. Lookgood.

Cosmetic surgery is an exploitative industry and duly fraught with exploitative tactics. The cosmetic surgeon will eagerly display set after set of persuasive 'before and after' pictures, conveniently leaving album after album of less successful results locked away in their bottom drawer. When you ask for an estimate, the cosmetic surgeon will readily quote the basic fee but rarely factor all the incidental charges you will be responsible for. Never will a cosmetic surgeon reveal their lack of experience in a particular procedure unless you press them for a concrete figure.

Watch out for other money-making tactics. For instance, during your consultation, a cosmetic surgeon may try to coax you into getting new procedures without fully acknowledging that they may be unsafe or ineffective. Be especially careful about the application of anaesthesia, where a mistake can have fatal consequences. Often, a cosmetic surgeon will retain a nurse rather than a board-certified anaesthesiologist. Also, your operation may take place in an unaccredited and unsafe facility. Indeed, the cosmetic surgeon may be unaccredited and unsafe himself."

Protecting Yourself

If you are determined to go under the knife, you need to know what to look out for to avoid getting your income reduced along with your waistline. First of all, know what you want—and how much you want to spend—before you walk into a consultation. Cosmetic surgeons are salesmen with medical degrees and will pressure you into opting for a procedure you never would have deemed necessary but now do not think you can live without. Research the operation you're interested in beforehand and inquire only about that one. Bluntly refuse to discuss more "premium" options. By all means, avoid injections that do not yet have Food and Drug Administration Approval and do not undergo any bold new procedures that haven't been extensively tested on others yet.

Don't get ripped off—or worse—by consigning your looks and your life to an unqualified doctor. All cosmetic surgeons will have some medical degree or other, but ensure yours is certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery (ABPS) and not just some opportunistic ex-orthopedist. Likewise, if your procedure will take place outside of a hospital, ensure the facility is accredited by the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care (AAAHC) or the American Association for Accreditation of Ambulatory Surgery Facilities (AAAASF). Ask your cosmetic surgeon exactly how many times he has performed the procedure you desire, and don't settle for "a lot". When he shows you those inevitable "before and after" picture sets, ask to see pictures of people who were less satisfied with their results. If he claims that no such creatures exist, he's either far too dishonest or far too inexperienced to handle pointy objects around your skin. Another concern is the administration of the anaesthetia, which too many patients overlook. Ask the doctor who will be putting you under, an anaesthesiologist or a nurse. If it is a nurse, ask if you can opt for an anaesthesiologist instead, and how much extra it will cost.

Demand to know all the charges up front, during the consultation. Many doctors will "forget" to factor anaesthesia and facility charges in their estimate, so be especially sure to ask for those. Ask if you will have to go on any medications, and check with your insurance provider to confirm they are covered. Ask if you will have to undergo maintenance procedures, how often they will be applied, and how much, all told, it will cost you. As with any service in any industry, do not bite at the first quote you are offered. Speak with as many cosmetic surgeons in your area as you can to get a better selection of prices for and perspectives on your procedure.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask if any discounts are available. You are not going in for a brain transplant at Harvard Medical Center; this is a highly common, completely optional type of surgery. Ask your local cosmetic surgeon if you can get a 10% or 15% discount somehow and you'll hardly be offending either his or your dignity. Cosmetic surgeons often book their facilities beforehand, and, on slower days, they may offer incentives to fill it up. Some even offer group discounts, perfect if your girlfriends want matching breast implants.

Just Because You Were Curious

A 2004 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine suggests that liposuction does not yield any health benefits for the subject. While the procedure can remove dozens of pounds of unsightly fat from under the skin, you are no less susceptible to the risk of diabetes or heart disease than you were before you ponied up ten grand. In other words, though you may look thinner on the outside, your cholesterol will not go down.

Many are unaware that plastic surgery procedures are often not permanent. Face lifts, for example, usually have a lifespan of just seven to ten years before regressing. If you do choose to undergo cosmetic surgery, be sure to ask your doctor how long the results will last. Nature, it seems, can often be diverted, but rarely can it be beaten.

Posted by admin on 07/05 at 10:41 AM

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Cosmetic Surgeons: Enhancing Your Costs

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